Monday, December 29, 2008

Tomb of the Unknown Soldier
(A Lesson in Dedication)

How many steps does the guard take during his walk across the tomb of the Unknowns and why?

21 steps: It alludes to the twenty-one gun salute which the highest honor given to any military or foreign dignitary.

How long does he hesitate after his about face to begin his return walk and why?

21 seconds for the same reason as answer number 1.

Why are his gloves wet?

His gloves are moistened to prevent his losing his grip on the rifle.
Does he carry his rifle on the same shoulder all the time and, if not, why not?
He carries the rifle on the shoulder away from the tomb. After his march across the path, he executes an about face and moves the rifle to the outside shoulder.

How often are the guards changed?

Guards are changed every thirty minutes, twenty-four hours a day, 365 days a year.
What does it take to be a guard?
They must commit 2 years of life to guard the tomb, live in a barracks under the tomb, and cannot drink any alcohol on or off duty for the rest of their lives. They cannot swear in public for the rest of their lives and cannot disgrace the uniform or the tomb in any way.

After two years, the guard is given a wreath pin that is worn on their lapel signifying they served as guard of the tomb. There are only 400 presently worn. The guard must obey these rules for the rest of their lives or give up the wreath pin.

The shoes are specially made with very thick soles to keep the heat and cold from their feet. There are metal heel plates that extend to the top of the shoe in order to make the loud click as they come to a halt. There are no wrinkles, folds or lint on the uniform. Guards dress for duty in front of a full-length mirror. The first six months of duty a guard cannot talk to anyone nor watch TV. All off duty time is spent studying the 175 notable people laid to rest in Arlington National Cemetery . A guard must memorize who they are and where they are interred. Among the notables are:

President Taft

Joe Lewis {the boxer}

Medal of Honor winner Audie Murphy, the most decorated soldier of WWII
Every guard spends five hours a day getting his uniforms ready for guard duty.
In 2003 as Hurricane Isabelle was approaching Washington, DC, our US Senate/House took 2 days off with anticipation of the storm. On the ABC evening news, it was reported that because of the dangers from the hurricane, the military members assigned the duty of guarding the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier were given permission to suspend the assignment. They respectfully declined the offer, 'No way, Sir!' Soaked to the skin, marching in the pelting rain of a tropical storm, they said that guarding the Tomb was not just an as assignment, it was the highest honor that can be afforded to a serviceperson. The tomb has been patrolled continuously, 24/7, since 1930.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

My Idea of Fun


Monday, December 22, 2008

Broken Glass
This morning I was riding to work in the dark, cold and wet. I was still trying to wake up as I rode down San Tomas Expressway when suddenly I felt something under my wheels and heard some loud crunching. Before I could think, "What in hell is that?", both of my wheels go flat. I
stop and look back to see a sea of broken glass. I have no idea on how I missed it because it was about a 1/4 inch thick and spanned across the shoulder and two lanes. It was absolutely amazing to see the shear size. The only thing that comes to mind is that someone dropped a sliding glass window pane or something like that as they took a right turn onto San Tomas. Anyway, I froze my ass off fixing both flats and I will eventually have to replace both of my tires because the each have about 20 slices from the glass. Hey, at least it wasn't raining.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Loaded for the Winter Months














Thursday, December 11, 2008

LGBRC 1 - Mexican Car Wash Worker 0


After a long day in the saddle there were only a few left in the field and only a mile left to go. I was riding at the front and waiting for the decisive move. Then BAM!. Juan Hernandez from Team Classic Car Wash attacked. In an unconventional way he flew up the right hand sidewalk. I kept my tempo and made sure he didn't get to far away. An uphill corner was coming so Juan makes an agressive move to the left hand sidewalk and flyes in front of us. He was 100% committed and almost didn't make it around the sidewalk corner. His legs were obvsiously tired because he was laboring up the hill. I caught him and kept the tempo. Juan bolts across the crosswalk and out of the corner of my eye I see him trucking down the hill on the left hand sidewalk. He looked serious but I didn't panic. I took the left hander onto the finishing straight. Juan held an agressive line on the sidewalk and was moving up. He was obviously serious and had no intention in giving up. The finish was coming so I lit up the sprint and Juan faded fast. What an epic battle.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Public Service Announcement

Subject: New Bike Commuters


This goes out to all of you that ride your bike to work.




  1. You are not a bike racer.

  2. You are not going to win, even finish, any sort of bike race.

  3. You have an ice cube's chance in hell of dropping me.

  4. You have absolutely zero bike handling skills.

So, please stop riding as hard as you can for 5 miles and be friggin social and stop being an annoying ass hat. BTW: You lame training routine is not going to make you any better. On top of that your lame antics while riding on the roads cause motorists to get pissed not only at you but also at me. So, thank for making my experience that much better.



Someone Took My Shirt!

This is worth blogging because I cannot believe it. Someone took my shirt in from the locker room. I ride to the gym to get ready for my Tuesday / Thursday lunch ride and that day was a little hot so I hung my shirt right next to my locker door. Anyway, I got back, took a shower, got ready and when I went to grab my shirt it was gone. HUGH? WTF. Anyway, luckily I have a couple shirts at my desk but I had to ride there with my bike jersey.

Some people.

Monday, August 04, 2008

Wayne Brady makes Brian Gumbel look like Malcolm X

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Day 11

Want crack? A conversation with a former drug dealer.
Day 10

Chicago Criterium

What am I doing here?

After 499 miles in 7 days I decided that a National Race Calendar event is a good idea. For those who don't know a NRC event brings out the best of the best Pro bike racers in North America. Anyway, I borrow my friend's car, who lives in the suburbs of Chicago, and eventually find my way to Grant Park in downtown Chicago. I do the Master's 30+ race because why not do two races after riding all week. ;) I took my chances during that race but nothing materialized and I finished 15th. Anyway, I pick up my number for the Pro race and while I am pinning my numbers on my jersey I realize I am sitting next to Freddie Rodrigez from Rock Racing. Actually I am sitting next to the Rock Racing criterium team which includes Kayle Leogrande, Mr. Druggie. After a while I realize that I am in way over my head and this field was stacked. Alex Candelario and his Kelley Benefit team, Ivan Dominguez and his Toyota United team, Jonnathan Page and even Astana's Chris Horner. Basically the who's who of American Criterium racing. Fortunately for me I excel at these races because they are fast and safe because there is no time to screw around and cause a problem. Anyway, after about 10 laps my legs were Jello and I decided to throw in the towel since all I was going to do is take a chance at crashing 2000 miles away from home or finishing 50th place. Great experience though.


RAGBRAI




The Mississippi and the Igloo Boom Box
RAGBRAI



Bars, Redbull Girls and a funny band
RAGBRAI



Rain and didn't eat until mile 54. Not a good idea.
RAGBRAI





78 miles in 3 hours and 45 minutes.

Got to shower, sleep and watch the Tour in a house. NICE!
RAGBRAI



Wings and the Dark Night
RAGBRAI



Coon Bowl III, OMG my ass hurts and sunburned lips.
RAGBRAI





It's the first day of RAGBRAI and this is definately an experience. First of all there are people everywhere.

T-bagging the shower floor.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

RAGBRAI

First Full Day

OMG it is humid here.

It is the first morning and I feel like I'm in the jungle. I cannot wait until the sun breaks from the clouds.

I get to the meeting site after an interesting ride with a driver that was too interested in talking rather than driving. Anyway, he took the wrong turn twice and manged to add about 30 minutes to the drive but I eventually made it to my destination on the outskirts of town. I find myself alone sitting in a church parking lot in a rural area outside of Missouri Valley, Iowa. This is definitely not California. Anyway, I start building my bike and eventually one of the church members show up to set-up for the rest of the charter that is about to arrive. A very nice person but I had that creepy cult feeling going on. Maybe it is just my California upbringing but I told myself that I was going to stay away from the Cool Aid.




The bus of riders finally arrive and I hear the familiar voice of my friend Scott. Now the fun begins. We manage to get situated and ride out bikes into town to check out the scene.
RAGBRAI
(Register's Annual Great Bike Ride Across Iowa)

Arriving in Omaha
Want Crack?

I'm in Council Bluffs, Iowa, which is just over the river from Omaha, Nebraska, for RAGBRAI and was walking back to my hotel after looking for food when a young lady rolled down her window and started talking to me. I was joking around with her when he asked me a funny question and my answer was "Well, I am not on crack." Her answer blew me away. She said, "I don't have any crack. Do you want some crack?" Welcome to Council Bluffs, Iowa (basically Omaha, Nebraska)

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

William Frischkorn

Frischkorn is German and the literal translation into English is "Fresh Corn".

Hello Mr. Fresh Corn. I would like you to meet Mr. Ripe Tomato who is going out with Mrs. Sweet Berry.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Since March 1, 2000

76,310 miles
4833 hours

Wednesday, May 14, 2008


Bike Racing 101


Subject: Corner Diving - Don't Do It

Photo courtesy of Mike Hernandez

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

How not to get your ass kicked by the police!

Sinead O'Connor - Scorn not his simplicity

Selling the truck!



Sign of the times. My original plan was to keep my truck until the doors rust off but my plans have changed since diesel is @ $4:50 a gallon and going up. Every time I start it up I see $$$$$$$$. Over $100 every time I travel anywhere.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Public Service Announcement


Don't EVER use the locker room wall hand drier to dry your ass and balls!



What does it take to finish Cat's Hill?
Duration: 1 hour 30 minutes
Distance: 38 miles
Average Heart Rate: 180 bpm
41 times up a 23% grade


Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Lyrics of the Day

Mother
Pink Floyd

Mother, do you think they'll drop the bomb?
Mother, do you think they'll like this song?
Mother, do you think they'll try to break my balls?
Ooooowaa Mother, should I build a wall?
Mother, should I run for President?
Mother, should I trust the government?
Mother, will they put me in the firing line?
Ooooowaa Is it just a waste of time?
Hush, my baby. Baby, don't you cry.
Momma's gonna make all of your nightmares come true.
Momma's gonna put all of her fears into you.
Momma's gonna keep you right here under her wing.
She won't let you fly, but she might let you sing.
Momma's gonna keep Baby cozy and warm.
Oooo Babe.Oooo Babe.Ooo Babe, of course Momma's gonna help build a wall.
Mother, do you think she's good enough,For me?
Mother, do you think she's dangerous,To me?
Mother will she tear your little boy apart?
Ooooowaa Mother, will she break my heart?
Hush, my baby. Baby, don't you cry.
Momma's gonna check out all your girlfriends for you.
Momma won't let anyone dirty get through.
Momma's gonna wait up until you get in.
Momma will always find out where you've been.
Momma's gonna keep Baby healthy and clean.
Oooo Babe.Oooo Babe.Ooo Babe, you'll always be Baby to me.
Mother, did it need to be so high?

Wednesday, January 02, 2008