MISHEARD LYRICS

Pearl Jam - Yellow Ledbetter

For years I had absolutely no idea on what Eddie Vedder was singing. Now I know. :)

It's Been a Wild Ride

I will never forget the day. Sunday, February 8, 2009. I went to sleep and I heard an annoying ringing in my ears. Annoying but no big deal so I complained but eventually went so sleep without too much thought of what was about to happen. Anyway, it turned out that the ringing wasn't a temporary thing. At least a couple hour or day temporary. It had Tinnitus and it almost destroyed my life. What's Tinnitus? Well that was my first question. It is basically continuous ringing in the ears, or at least perceived ringing int he ears. I have never heard of this nor that someone can get continuous ringing in the ears. Anyway, I had it and the next two months where the worst two months of my life. Hard, emotional, stressful, agony can only start to describe the ordeal. Panic, anger, scared, frustration can only start to describe the emotional roller coaster. I was going crazy and having thoughts that I couldn't comprehend only a couple days before. It was a continuous, high pitched noise like a dental drill in my head and I couldn't ever get away from it.

I just want to say that I would have never made it without the empathy of friends and family, my two daughters, doctors that were able to provide prescriptions, the employee assistance program and talking to people that have gone through this ordeal. I am not joking when I say I would have not made it. I also understand a lot more about people suffering, but what I learned the most is that you cannot suffer alone. If I didn't seek help I wouldn't be here today.

Enough said. The ringing isn't gone but it is to the point where I only hear it when I go to sleep at night. I'm back on my bike and back to a somewhat normal life.

Why I'm not a sprinter

Watch the right hand side of the screen. Enough said.

Lyrics of the Day

"He who laughts last is just a hand in the bush"

(Ozzy Osborne, "No More Tears")

RIP - My Faithful Cosmos Wheelset

After 7 years and just about every kind of riding situation my Mavic Cosmos wheelset finally died. Actually they are being euthenized because the price to do a full overhaul would probably be the same as purchaing a new wheelset. Thanks for all the memories.

Natalie Merchant

A rare talent

My Season Saved by a Pumpkin Scone

Yesterday it all came to a head while riding home from work.

I was tired of being cold.
I was tired of feeling like crap.
I was tired of dieting and training.
I was tired of power workouts.
I was tired of riding with a backpack.
I was tired of my tired legs.
I was tired of constantly stretching.
I was tired of my routine.
I decided to hang up my bike and dust off my golf clubs.

The only problem was that I had to make it home to start my retirement and this wasn't as easy as you think because I had completely cracked. I was feeling so bad that I found myself riding along San Tomas Expressway at a whopping 13 mph and hurting.

I said to myself, "What in hell am I doing?" Right then I pulled into a Starbucks and decided to get some coffee and food. I was in such a daze that it took me about 10 seconds to notice that the girl behind the counter was talking to me. She gave me a weird look when I snapped out of my daze and replied. It turns out that she is a triathlete and was excited about the biker guy coming into Starbucks. Anyway, I hope she didn't get a bad impression of bike racers.

To get back to my story I relaxed, ate my "pumpkin scone" and drank my "tall drip with room for cream." I mounted my bike and dreaded the remaining ride home. To my amazement everything completely changed in about 5 minutes. I found myself feeling great and riding home at 22 mph with relative ease. Anyway, my retirement lasted about 10 minutes and I never dusted off my golf clubs. Thanks to a pumpkin scone and a cup of coffee.

Skunk!

I was riding down the Tomas Aquino Creek Trail/Saratoga Creek Trail when going under Great America Parkway I come across a skunk moseying along the other way along the wall. I was going at a good pace so if I stopped I would have stopped right next to the skunk. I decided that wasn't a very good idea so I keept rolling and hoped we each pass and go our merry way. Anyway, I guess I scared the hell out of the skunk because he stopped and looked for an excape route. When it was obvious he was screwed he backed up and up comes his tail. I say to myself, "Oh $hit!", and proceed to close my eyes and hold my breath for the possible shower of skunk spray. I rolled passed and was planning to access the damage when I was in the clear. There is always some kind of skunk smell so I wasn't sure if I was a smelly bike rider or not. Before I stopped I was thinking that there was not way I can go to work smelling like a skunk and I would have to really argue justification to taking the day off. I would have gone home and my wife would have kicked me out of the house too. Basically I was screwed. Anyway, to my amazement I was free from any skunk smell.

Tomb of the Unknown Soldier

(A Lesson in Dedication)

How many steps does the guard take during his walk across the tomb of the Unknowns and why?

21 steps: It alludes to the twenty-one gun salute which the highest honor given to any military or foreign dignitary.

How long does he hesitate after his about face to begin his return walk and why?

21 seconds for the same reason as answer number 1.

Why are his gloves wet?

His gloves are moistened to prevent his losing his grip on the rifle.

Does he carry his rifle on the same shoulder all the time and, if not, why not?

He carries the rifle on the shoulder away from the tomb. After his march across the path, he executes an about face and moves the rifle to the outside shoulder.

How often are the guards changed?

Guards are changed every thirty minutes, twenty-four hours a day, 365 days a year.

What does it take to be a guard?

They must commit 2 years of life to guard the tomb, live in a barracks under the tomb, and cannot drink any alcohol on or off duty for the rest of their lives. They cannot swear in public for the rest of their lives and cannot disgrace the uniform or the tomb in any way.

After two years, the guard is given a wreath pin that is worn on their lapel signifying they served as guard of the tomb. There are only 400 presently worn. The guard must obey these rules for the rest of their lives or give up the wreath pin.

The shoes are specially made with very thick soles to keep the heat and cold from their feet. There are metal heel plates that extend to the top of the shoe in order to make the loud click as they come to a halt. There are no wrinkles, folds or lint on the uniform. Guards dress for duty in front of a full-length mirror. The first six months of duty a guard cannot talk to anyone nor watch TV. All off duty time is spent studying the 175 notable people laid to rest in Arlington National Cemetery . A guard must memorize who they are and where they are interred. Among the notables are:

President Taft

Joe Lewis {the boxer}

Medal of Honor winner Audie Murphy, the most decorated soldier of WWII

Every guard spends five hours a day getting his uniforms ready for guard duty.

In 2003 as Hurricane Isabelle was approaching Washington, DC, our US Senate/House took 2 days off with anticipation of the storm. On the ABC evening news, it was reported that because of the dangers from the hurricane, the military members assigned the duty of guarding the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier were given permission to suspend the assignment. They respectfully declined the offer, 'No way, Sir!' Soaked to the skin, marching in the pelting rain of a tropical storm, they said that guarding the Tomb was not just an as assignment, it was the highest honor that can be afforded to a serviceperson. The tomb has been patrolled continuously, 24/7, since 1930.

My Idea of Fun

Broken Glass

This morning I was riding to work in the dark, cold and wet. I was still trying to wake up as I rode down San Tomas Expressway when suddenly I felt something under my wheels and heard some loud crunching. Before I could think, "What in hell is that?", both of my wheels go flat. I
stop and look back to see a sea of broken glass. I have no idea on how I missed it because it was about a 1/4 inch thick and spanned across the shoulder and two lanes. It was absolutely amazing to see the shear size. The only thing that comes to mind is that someone dropped a sliding glass window pane or something like that as they took a right turn onto San Tomas. Anyway, I froze my ass off fixing both flats and I will eventually have to replace both of my tires because the each have about 20 slices from the glass. Hey, at least it wasn't raining.

Loaded for the Winter Months

LGBRC 1 - Mexican Car Wash Worker 0

After a long day in the saddle there were only a few left in the field and only a mile left to go. I was riding at the front and waiting for the decisive move. Then BAM!. Juan Hernandez from Team Classic Car Wash attacked. In an unconventional way he flew up the right hand sidewalk. I kept my tempo and made sure he didn't get to far away. An uphill corner was coming so Juan makes an agressive move to the left hand sidewalk and flyes in front of us. He was 100% committed and almost didn't make it around the sidewalk corner. His legs were obvsiously tired because he was laboring up the hill. I caught him and kept the tempo. Juan bolts across the crosswalk and out of the corner of my eye I see him trucking down the hill on the left hand sidewalk. He looked serious but I didn't panic. I took the left hander onto the finishing straight. Juan held an agressive line on the sidewalk and was moving up. He was obviously serious and had no intention in giving up. The finish was coming so I lit up the sprint and Juan faded fast. What an epic battle.

Public Service Announcement

Subject: New Bike Commuters

This goes out to all of you that ride your bike to work.

1. You are not a bike racer.


2. You are not going to win, even finish, any sort of bike race.


3. You have an ice cube's chance in hell of dropping me.


4. You have absolutely zero bike handling skills.

So, please stop riding as hard as you can for 5 miles and be friggin social and stop being an annoying ass hat. BTW: You lame training routine is not going to make you any better. On top of that your lame antics while riding on the roads cause motorists to get pissed not only at you but also at me. So, thank for making my experience that much better.

Someone Took My Shirt!

This is worth blogging because I cannot believe it. Someone took my shirt in from the locker room. I ride to the gym to get ready for my Tuesday / Thursday lunch ride and that day was a little hot so I hung my shirt right next to my locker door. Anyway, I got back, took a shower, got ready and when I went to grab my shirt it was gone. HUGH? WTF. Anyway, luckily I have a couple shirts at my desk but I had to ride there with my bike jersey.

Some people.

Wayne Brady makes Brian Gumbel look like Malcolm X

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Day 11

Want crack? A conversation with a former drug dealer.

Day 10

Chicago Criterium

What am I doing here?

After 499 miles in 7 days I decided that a National Race Calendar event is a good idea. For those who don't know a NRC event brings out the best of the best Pro bike racers in North America. Anyway, I borrow my friend's car, who lives in the suburbs of Chicago, and eventually find my way to Grant Park in downtown Chicago. I do the Master's 30+ race because why not do two races after riding all week. ;) I took my chances during that race but nothing materialized and I finished 15th. Anyway, I pick up my number for the Pro race and while I am pinning my numbers on my jersey I realize I am sitting next to Freddie Rodrigez from Rock Racing. Actually I am sitting next to the Rock Racing criterium team which includes Kayle Leogrande, Mr. Druggie. After a while I realize that I am in way over my head and this field was stacked. Alex Candelario and his Kelley Benefit team, Ivan Dominguez and his Toyota United team, Jonnathan Page and even Astana's Chris Horner. Basically the who's who of American Criterium racing. Fortunately for me I excel at these races because they are fast and safe because there is no time to screw around and cause a problem. Anyway, after about 10 laps my legs were Jello and I decided to throw in the towel since all I was going to do is take a chance at crashing 2000 miles away from home or finishing 50th place. Great experience though.

RAGBRAI

The Mississippi and the Igloo Boom Box

RAGBRAI

Bars, Redbull Girls and a funny band